{"id":23395,"date":"2019-08-22T10:04:46","date_gmt":"2019-08-22T10:04:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.theweddingsecret.co.uk\/magazine\/?p=23395"},"modified":"2020-02-14T13:37:40","modified_gmt":"2020-02-14T13:37:40","slug":"best-man-speech-advice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theweddingsecret.co.uk\/magazine\/best-man-speech-advice\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Write the Perfect Best Man Speech"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>So you\u2019ve been chosen to be your best mate\u2019s best man.\nCongratulations! It\u2019s time to go crazy planning the stag do, right? Well, yeah.\nBut you have another, far more important thing to worry about as well: the best\nman speech.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.theweddingsecret.co.uk\/lewis-fackrell-wedding-photography-cardiff.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><img src=\"http:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/images.theweddingsecret.co.uk\/magazine\/planning\/Speeches\/Best-Man\/Lewis6.jpg\" alt=\"How to Write the Perfect Best Man Speech\"\/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Contrary to (unfortunate) popular opinion, a good best\nman speech comprises far more than a few cheap jokes you found online and an embarrassing\nstory involving the groom and a stripper in Las Vegas. Actually, it shouldn\u2019t\ncomprise <em>any<\/em> of the aforementioned elements.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Although a really, truly funny best man speech can\nbe a great addition to any wedding, it\u2019s far more important that you tick the\nnecessary boxes with your speech. Make a few jokes and rib the groom a bit, by all means. But you also need to ensure that you\nsay some more heartfelt things about him, say plenty of flattering \u2013 but not\nlecherous \u2013 things about the bride, and remark on how wonderful the day has\nbeen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3><strong>Expert advice on how to write and deliver a best man speech you&#8217;ll be proud of<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>This is the last of your best man duties, and quite\npossibly the most significant one (besides not losing the rings, of course).\nThink of it this way: it\u2019s going to be part of the wedding video that your best\nfriend and his wife show their children one day. So, don\u2019t screw this up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.theweddingsecret.co.uk\/lewis-fackrell-wedding-photography-cardiff.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><img src=\"http:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/images.theweddingsecret.co.uk\/magazine\/planning\/Speeches\/Best-Man\/Lewis5.jpg\" alt=\"How to Write the Perfect Best Man Speech\"\/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Feeling the pressure now? Good! But, you\u2019ve come to\nthe right place. Luckily for you, we\u2019ve consulted experts on making your best man\nspeech absolutely perfect and have compiled their best tips.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3><strong>Best Man Speech Structure<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<h5><strong>Introduce yourself<\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>This should go without saying, but we\u2019re still\ngoing to say it. It can be easy when you\u2019re nervous to speed right past telling\neveryone who you are. Not everyone will know that you\u2019re the best man (unless\nyou made an ass of yourself earlier in the day.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Take this opportunity to begin your speech calmly\nand to introduce yourself formally as the best man. You can also quickly\nintroduce the bride and groom and make a comment about how you know the groom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.theweddingsecret.co.uk\/lewis-fackrell-wedding-photography-cardiff.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><img src=\"http:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/images.theweddingsecret.co.uk\/magazine\/planning\/Speeches\/Best-Man\/Lewis2.jpg\" alt=\"How to Write the Perfect Best Man Speech\"\/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Robert, from <a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"http:\/\/www.myweddingspeeches.co.uk\/\" target=\"_blank\">My Wedding Speeches<\/a>, tells us, \u201cI try to make the introduction personal by usually introducing the bride and groom and within the first five or six lines I then crack some sort of joke about them. The jokes must be personal, though.\u201d Using a generic one-liner as a speech opener is a fantastic way to start off on the wrong foot. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5><strong>The Groom<\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>You\nprobably know the groom better than a lot of people in the room. Therefore, it\nis up to you to talk a bit about his personal history. Make some jokes at his expense, by all means, but your\nspeech should <em>not<\/em> be about destroying the groom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Adrian of <a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/allspeechesgreatandsmall.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">All Speeches Great and Small<\/a> points out, \u201cThis is by far the most common way best men come unstuck. They think that they\u2019re not doing their job properly unless the groom has been thoroughly embarrassed and emotionally tortured.\u201d Instead, make sure you\u2019re laughing <em>with<\/em> him, not <em>at <\/em>him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.theweddingsecret.co.uk\/shootinghip-wedding-photography-hampshire.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><img src=\"http:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/images.theweddingsecret.co.uk\/magazine\/planning\/Speeches\/Best-Man\/Shootinghip.jpg\" alt=\"How to Write the Perfect Best Man Speech\"\/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>You can also elaborate a bit more here on how you\nmet and became such close friends. Or, if you\u2019re family, you can joke about how\nyou ended up being forced into each other\u2019s lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The most important thing here is to not waste too\nmuch energy trying to be funny, especially if it doesn\u2019t come naturally. \u201cI\nknow best man speeches are meant to be funny, but try to be sincere as well as\ncomical,&#8221; says Robert (My Wedding Speeches).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5><strong>How he\u2019s changed<\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>At this\npoint, you can start to\nbring your speech forward into covering present day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cA great best man speech is simply a really good\nstory,\u201d says Adrian (All Speeches Great and Small).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.theweddingsecret.co.uk\/lewis-fackrell-wedding-photography-cardiff.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><img src=\"http:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/images.theweddingsecret.co.uk\/magazine\/planning\/Speeches\/Best-Man\/Lewis7.jpg\" alt=\"How to Write the Perfect Best Man Speech\"\/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>You can discuss the groom\u2019s career here or perhaps how life hasn\u2019t gone how you\u2019d\nalways planned it. There is\nthe option to be a bit sentimental here about how much he\u2019s grown, especially\nif he\u2019s been through one or two major life events, or you can continue to be\nlight-hearted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Again, though, the emphasis should be on honesty. Don\u2019t make up events just so they fit into a joke you want to\ntell, because it won\u2019t be funny. Often, the most comical anecdotes are the most\npainfully true ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5><strong>His dating history<\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>Now, before we go any further, we must warn you to\nexercise caution when it comes to this topic. Know your audience and how they, particularly the\ngroom\u2019s parents or the bride, will react.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If the groom has any particularly problematic exes, leave them out. Similarly, if there were any girls his parents didn\u2019t know about, now is not the time to tell them! And absolutely do not reminisce about any of his exes whom you found attractive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.theweddingsecret.co.uk\/yellow-door-wedding-photography-buckinghamshire.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><img src=\"http:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/images.theweddingsecret.co.uk\/magazine\/planning\/Speeches\/Best-Man\/Yellow-Door.jpg\" alt=\"How to Write the Perfect Best Man Speech\"\/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>In fact, mentioning exes altogether should be considered the ultimate taboo topic for your speech, according to literally every speechwriter interviewed for this article. Robert says that \u201cmentioning exes is especially important to stay away from if the groom has been divorced.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Instead of naming anyone specific, tell some funny stories about when he was woefully unsuccessful at pulling in a nightclub. Or, about how girls would dump him the second they saw how untidily he kept his flat. End this with humour like, \u201cSo how he\u2019s actually gotten someone to marry him, I will never know.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5><strong>The blushing bride<\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>Your comments about the bride should be nothing but thoroughly complimentary and flattering, without being creepy. It\u2019s great if you find her attractive, but this is not the right time to let her know. (There\u2019s never a right time to let her know, actually, so just get that out of your head now.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cAlways tell her how lovely she is and talk about what sort of person she is rather than making it superficial,\u201d says Robert. Stay away from remarking on her looks and it will go a long way to making her feel valued.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.theweddingsecret.co.uk\/lewis-fackrell-wedding-photography-cardiff.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><img src=\"http:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/images.theweddingsecret.co.uk\/magazine\/planning\/Speeches\/Best-Man\/Lewis9.jpg\" alt=\"How to Write the Perfect Best Man Speech\"\/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Talk about how she\u2019s changed the groom \u2013 for the better, obviously. Don\u2019t start whining about how you and the groom never get drunk together anymore because she doesn\u2019t like it, no matter how true that might be. Reiterate the fact that she looks beautiful and that the groom is a lucky man and you\u2019ve pretty much done your job in this area.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you have a decent relationship with the bride, you should speak to her about the speech. Oliver of <a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"http:\/\/iamthebestman.co.uk\/\" target=\"_blank\">I Am The Best Man<\/a> suggests that, \u201cNot only will she have good material, she will also be able to fill you in on the important biographical information about their relationship that you might not know.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5><strong>Anecdotes<\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>At this point, you can bring in some funny stories about your relationship with the groom over the years; even about your relationship with the bride if you two have become close. This needn\u2019t be sappy, however. If you have some genuinely funny stories to tell about what a mess the groom used to be, or an experience the three of you shared together, you can include them here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.theweddingsecret.co.uk\/damion-mower-wedding-wedding-suppliers-buckinghamshire.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><img src=\"http:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/images.theweddingsecret.co.uk\/magazine\/planning\/Speeches\/Best-Man\/Damion-Mower.jpg\" alt=\"How to Write the Perfect Best Man Speech\"\/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Don\u2019t go on forever, though, and make sure the underlying message is about their positive impact on each other\u2019s lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When it comes to deciding which stories to share, take advice from Patricia of <a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"http:\/\/www.bestmanspeechwriter.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">BestManSpeechWriter.com<\/a>: \u201cIt is the funny anecdotes and personal stories that make a speech unique to the best man and the friendship he shares with the groom. The trick is figuring out which stories are appropriate to share and, most importantly, which should be left in the past.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.theweddingsecret.co.uk\/yellow-door-wedding-photography-buckinghamshire.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><img src=\"http:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/images.theweddingsecret.co.uk\/magazine\/planning\/Speeches\/Best-Man\/Yellow-Door3.jpg\" alt=\"How to Write the Perfect Best Man Speech\"\/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>In other words, stay well away from anything that could be considered risqu\u00e9 or #NSFW. Don\u2019t forget who will be in your audience. Plenty of friends of the newlyweds who are your age will be there, yes. But there will also be parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and little cousins present.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cJokes about sex might be good between friends, but they don\u2019t belong in a speech,\u201d says Oliver. This is still a common pitfall of best man speeches, though, so be careful you don\u2019t make this mistake.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5><strong>Advice<\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>Tradition dictates that, towards the end of his speech, the best man imparts some marital advice on the happy couple. However, take this with a pinch of salt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you\u2019re already happily married then by all means say a few words about what you think makes marriage great. But if not, don\u2019t suddenly pretend to be some sort of marriage guru as it will come off as disingenuous.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.theweddingsecret.co.uk\/lewis-fackrell-wedding-photography-cardiff.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><img src=\"http:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/images.theweddingsecret.co.uk\/magazine\/planning\/Speeches\/Best-Man\/Lewis4.jpg\" alt=\"How to Write the Perfect Best Man Speech\"\/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Similarly, don\u2019t lean on a generic, sexist joke, inappropriate comment, or stock line like, \u201cJust say \u2018yes dear\u2019 to everything\u201d. \u201cI would avoid giving \u2018hilarious\u2019 advice, if at all possible,\u201d echoes Adrian (All Speeches Great and Small). So, either take the opportunity here to poke fun at yourself for not being married yet or just skip this bit altogether.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5><strong>The toast<\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>Hopefully the most straightforward part of your best man speech, the toast only needs to be a couple of lines. Toast the newlyweds, wish them love, health, and happiness, and down the rest of your bubbly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3><strong>Best Man Speech Tips &amp; Tricks<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<h5><strong>Timing is everything<\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>This ought to go without saying, but long wedding speeches have <em>never<\/em> contributed to a good wedding. No matter how funny or heartfelt you\u2019re planning for your speech to be, your audience\u2019s attention is extremely finite. They\u2019ve more than likely already hit the bar, and probably want to get back to drinking as soon as possible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Exactly how long is too much is up for debate, and the pros we spoke to have slightly differing opinions. While Oliver advises around 10 minutes, Adrian and Robert advise 5-7 minutes, and Patricia says you can make do with as little as 3 minutes. Take from these opinions what you will, but definitely keep it to fewer than 10.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.theweddingsecret.co.uk\/lewis-fackrell-wedding-photography-cardiff.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><img src=\"http:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/images.theweddingsecret.co.uk\/magazine\/planning\/Speeches\/Best-Man\/Lewis6.jpg\" alt=\"How to Write the Perfect Best Man Speech\"\/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Writing an over-long best man speech is a common mistake, according to Oliver. \u201cPeople get over excited when it comes to content. They underestimate or forget that they\u2019re the last person of at least three and they try to crowbar in too much. If you go on for too long, you\u2019re just going to lose people.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5><strong>Avoid joke websites<\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>It doesn\u2019t matter how funny you find the jokes when you\u2019re reading them to yourself on the toilet, packing your best man speech with jokes you found online is a TERRIBLE idea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.theweddingsecret.co.uk\/damion-mower-wedding-wedding-suppliers-buckinghamshire.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><img src=\"http:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/images.theweddingsecret.co.uk\/magazine\/planning\/Speeches\/Best-Man\/Damion-Mower2.jpg\" alt=\"How to Write the Perfect Best Man Speech\"\/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Generic jokes never sound natural and will come off as obviously scripted. They also never illicit anything more than groans, especially from the newlyweds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The groom picked you to be his best man because he loves and trusts you; don\u2019t make him regret it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5><strong>Laughter is the best medicine<\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>That being said, it\u2019s perfectly natural to be a bit jittery prior to giving your best man speech. However, as all the experts we spoke to agreed, knowing you\u2019ll be giving a funny speech can be the best reassurance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cTelling jokes goes hand-in-hand with gaining confidence. You want to know you\u2019ll be able to deliver a speech that\u2019s funny and worthwhile,\u201d says Oliver.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.theweddingsecret.co.uk\/susie-mackie-wedding-photography-cheltenham-gloucester.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><img src=\"http:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/images.theweddingsecret.co.uk\/magazine\/planning\/Speeches\/Best-Man\/Susie-Mackie.jpg\" alt=\"How to Write the Perfect Best Man Speech\"\/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Of course, you may not be naturally funny, and that\u2019s okay too!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Add at least a couple of quips to your speech in order to break the ice if nothing else. \u201cWe believe that every speech should contain humour,\u201d says Patricia. \u201cBut the amount of humour we insert into the speeches we write is very much tailored to our client.\u201d Lesson learned: be funny, but only as funny as you feel genuinely comfortable with.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5><strong>Practice and edit<\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>Knowing your best man speech through and through is hugely important. It\u2019ll make your delivery smooth and last-minute stage fright is less likely to get the better of you. Write index cards to have on hand to remind you of your main points, but don\u2019t rely on them completely.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Memorise your first line, at least one middle line, and your last line. This way, if you blank out or lose your place, you\u2019ll have some idea of what comes next!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.theweddingsecret.co.uk\/pip-and-simon-wedding-photography-devon.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><img src=\"http:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/images.theweddingsecret.co.uk\/magazine\/planning\/Speeches\/Best-Man\/Pip-and-Simon.jpg\" alt=\"How to Write the Perfect Best Man Speech\"\/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>You shouldn\u2019t be afraid to edit, either. Practice a few times in front of friends and, if a certain line (or 5) consistently falls flat, delete it. \u201cA lot of people write a speech in isolation and won\u2019t get any feedback on it and are then surprised that their jokes fall flat on the day. Getting feedback is really important and will help you to figure out what\u2019s funny and what\u2019s not funny,\u201d advises Oliver (I Am The Best Man).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5><strong>Remember to breathe<\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>Breathing is one of the human body\u2019s automatic functions and, in most situations, is impossible to forget to do. However, for whatever reason, when they\u2019re faced with the task of public speaking, one can actually forget to breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you\u2019re a nervous public speaker, it\u2019s important to constantly remind yourself to take breathers during your speech. These will give you natural pauses and time to collect yourself, especially if you\u2019ve stumbled over any words. And don\u2019t worry, no one will notice! Those few seconds it takes to take a deep breath and a sip of water will feel completely normal to the other guests.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.theweddingsecret.co.uk\/lewis-fackrell-wedding-photography-cardiff.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><img src=\"http:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/images.theweddingsecret.co.uk\/magazine\/planning\/Speeches\/Best-Man\/Lewis3.jpg\" alt=\"How to Write the Perfect Best Man Speech\"\/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>So, to all the best men out there, we hope this has given you the guidance and reassurance you need to write and deliver a best man speech you can be proud of. We have more speech advice for the <a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" aria-label=\"groom  (opens in a new tab)\" href=\"https:\/\/www.theweddingsecret.co.uk\/magazine\/perfect-groom-speech-wedding-tips\/\" target=\"_blank\">groom <\/a>and the <a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" aria-label=\"father of the bride (opens in a new tab)\" href=\"https:\/\/www.theweddingsecret.co.uk\/magazine\/tips-perfect-father-of-the-bride-speech\/\" target=\"_blank\">father of the bride<\/a>!<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>So you\u2019ve been chosen to be your best mate\u2019s best man. Congratulations! It\u2019s time to go crazy planning the stag do, right? Well, yeah. But you have another, far more important thing to worry about as well: the best man speech.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":20,"featured_media":30337,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1798],"tags":[1950,1295,2179,1479,1297,264,794,482],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v19.7.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Best Man Speech: we ask the experts how to write the perfect speech<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Speech writing pros weigh in on how to write and deliver a funny, memorable Best Man speech that&#039;s sure to be a crowd-pleaser.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.theweddingsecret.co.uk\/magazine\/best-man-speech-advice\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta 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